Now as I think it through, I retrace all my steps...

I must admit it hasn't been easy to process everything that happens around me lately.  Now as I think it all through, I tried to retrace my steps and emotions, honestly it is never easy. 

I know that this is uncomfortable, but also, it is the right thing to do.

It's easier to let myself forget, but still I've checked all my vital signs. I am all choked up by it as I realise that I've been less than half myself for so long. Too long. 

So I tell myself to wake up. 

I'm trying to understand all sides, also trying to find myself through it.

It's muscle memory, that I remember who am I.

It's a wage war, but there's so much worth fighting for, you'll see. 

A little at a time and I feel a little bit more alive.

-sleeping at last, nine-